If you’re anything like me, your relationship with social media is a bit on the rocks right now. So let’s talk about it: the good, the bad, and the ugly of social media. Listen in as I share about my hot-and-cold relationship with social media, my plan for moving forward, and some reflection questions to help you navigate your own relationship with social media.
If you’re anything like me, your relationship with social media is a bit on the rocks right now. So let’s talk about it: the good, the bad, and the ugly of social media.
Listen in as I share about my hot-and-cold relationship with social media, my plan for moving forward, and some reflection questions to help you navigate your own relationship with social media.
Buckle up folks, because this episode is full of reflection and my thoughts on social media. If you're like me and your relationship with social media is on the rocks, grab a notebook, grab a pen, your favorite beverage, and settle in. Get ready to get real about social media.
Welcome to The Modern Editor Podcast, where we talk about all things editing and what it's like to run an editorial business in today's world. I'm your host, Tara Whitaker. Let's get to it.
Ooh, y'all. It has been a rough few weeks. For that matter, a rough decade, but who's counting. But this episode is gonna be a very good example of showing up even when things are not exactly perfect or sunshine and roses.
And without going too far into the rabbit hole of why, let's just say that I have been avoiding all social media for a little while now. I've always had a very hot/cold relationship with social media. I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that. I can see how amazing it can be and the good that can come from it, and I can also see how horrible it can be, and it seems to turn one way or the other on a dime. It's a little whiplash-y.
And this has been on my mind for a long time. I did an episode way back in the day now on how to market yourself outside of social media because at the time I was having issues with it yet again. So the relationship between me and social media has been around for quite some time, and social media isn't going away. And we all need to make decisions surrounding it for ourselves and our businesses.
There is no one right way to use social media other than not being an a-hole, but I think that's just good life advice in general. So today I wanted to share with you my latest journey with social media, what I'm thinking about doing in the future as of right now. I have some reflection questions for you to help you with your own journey with social media because it is a journey and it's going to change, it's going to pivot.
Maybe you don't use it and then you use it. Maybe you never use it. Maybe you use it a lot. It just depends and it's going to ebb and flow. And so these questions will help you recenter if that happens for you. Figure out what the best option for you is in that particular moment or season of life.
All right, so let's dig in. First a little background of my social media journey. I have always struggled with very poor boundaries with social media. When I am at my worst, which is usually when I am the most stressed, I tend to consume a lot. I doomscroll like it's my job, even when I know that those things are terrible for me.
And when I say doomscroll, I don't even mean looking at the news necessarily. Just scrolling and I can't stop. It truly is an addiction. It's awful, and a few months back, I got to a point where I wasn't really creating anything online, and what I was creating wasn't necessarily, from my point of view, inspiring or really contributing in any significant way.
And it made me think because with the relative ease and ability that we have to post something anywhere online or repost something or share something, I always sit back and think, am I just cluttering the web with nonsense? Am I posting for the sake of posting? Am I worried that the algorithm will forget me? Am I worried people will forget me? What is the point of this?
And sometimes I don't really have the answers, but a lot of the times it's usually, how do I say this? It's almost like when you're around those people that like to talk just for the sake of talking. I didn't wanna be that person on social media.
And the funny part was, I wasn't even doing any of the social part. I wasn't really interacting with people's content in a meaningful way. Liking something is great, don't get me wrong, but how much effort does it take to double-tap a post on Instagram? Not a lot. And I wasn't commenting, or rarely commenting.
I would share some things like, it just wasn't feeling good. I wasn't in a good place. So I started experimenting with timers on my phone. The timers that come with the Apple iPhone did not work for me, so I discovered the Opal app, which I've talked about, I know I've talked about in my newsletter before, and that helped tremendously, especially around bedtime.
The, what's it called, bedtime procrastination, where you're done with the day, the kids are in bed, and you're like, oh, I have time to myself. I'm gonna stay up until all hours because I need alone time. And me time. And what would I do? I would scroll and then I'd go to bed and be like, what did you just do for the last four hours? Was that worth it? No. But I continued to do it.
And then a few weeks ago, I don't know exactly 'cause time is time is time right now, and it could have been yesterday or ten years ago, but we'll say three or four weeks ago, things got really bad on social media. And right at the same time, things had gotten really bad in my local community and with some BS shenanigans from our federal government.
So the decision was almost made for me to take a break from social media. For one, I had zero time to use it because I was focused so much on other pressing things. And two, I just didn't wanna be any part of what I was seeing online. And for the most part, I haven't missed it. I really haven't.
I do miss chatting with my friends and my edibuddies and people that I talk to, especially on Instagram. Instagram is my main social media account. I'm on others, but it's like, what I post on Instagram I disseminate out to the other platforms. Instagram is really where I hang out if I'm on social media, and I've cultivated a lot of friends and editing friends, and I miss seeing life updates and fun pictures and all of that.
So that has been a bummer and it is something that I need to keep in mind when I think about my future use. But overall, it's been amazing. And my time, however short so far off social media, has shown me so many things. Some I assumed would happen, but others were a surprise.
So I no longer have this ridiculous dopamine anticipation. It's natural when you're online on social media and you post something and then you constantly check back to see who's liking it, who's commenting on it, who's sharing it, all the things. But I got to the point where I was just checking too much and it wasn't even like I actually cared all that much, but it had become such a habit to look and to just check Instagram 40 billion times a day that it just got out of hand.
And now my feelings are honestly quite the opposite. I have zero inclination or need to get on any of the apps or seek out any dopamine hit. I see the app on my phone and it's like, revulsion. I'm like, oh, nope. Don't wanna engage with that today. And it has been so freeing. So absolutely freeing. And it really highlighted how much I have been addicted to it, and how much it has become a habit that was not serving me in the right way.
There's nothing wrong with—sometimes we need to disengage and watch something for fun and for a lot of us that's social media. But I was spending far too much time on it, and I just would sit and think, really, Tara, is that what you wanted to spend the hours of your day doing? Do you wanna be thinking back, going, yeah, I only have 4,000 weeks—shout-out to Oliver Burkeman. How many of those weeks am I spending on social media, and is that what I wanna be doing? Is that where I wanna spend my time? The answer is no, and yet I was still doing it. So we're changing all of that.
I've also found that my energy and my ability for activism and mutual aid and community care right now for me is going to be offline. I have found that doing things quote “on the ground” in my local community is where I can best serve and it's the best use of my time. I'm not saying it's the best way or the only way, or that I'm not going to do anything on social media, or if you do, that's wrong. None of that. We all have different things to consider, but I've just discovered that for me right now, doing things offline is what's working best for me.
With that, I've been reading more for fun. I have been watching more TW, which I'm not sure if that's a total win, but I have been incapable of getting into a show or watching a movie or anything because number one, I couldn't make a decision on what to watch, total decision fatigue. Number two, if I did find something, I would be on my phone on social media the whole flipping time.
And I had a third one. I totally just lost it. Oh, I just miss getting into a show, right? Like when you start something and you're like, oh, I just wanna keep watching this, it makes me feel good. This is great, it's funny, it's dramatic, whatever. I've not been doing that for a very long time, and now I actually am, and it's lovely.
And speaking of being on my phone while I'm watching TV, my attention span has improved dramatically in the short amount of time I've been off social media. Which is, a yeah, Tara, duh. But also the amount of impact it has had in such a short amount of time is very surprising to me.
If you are like me, maybe this sounds a little familiar. You turn on the TV show and you would be on your phone, or you'd pick up a book and you'd read a couple pages and you'd pick up your phone. I was carrying my phone with me from room to room. Why? I don't know.
I even have an Apple Watch, which is a whole 'nother conversation. So if anything happened, I would've seen it on there. I don't know why my phone had to be permanently attached to my hand. And this is a little embarrassing, but we don't have any judgment here on the Modern Editor, right? It was very common for me to take the phone to the bathroom with me.
Why did I need it in there? Why? It's so completely unnecessary and unsanitary and gross. That was just, it was not what I wanted to be doing. And I'm not where I wanna be. I still want to disengage from the phone, like the phone as a whole, a lot more, but I'm heading in the right direction and that feels really good.
And I also have a lot more white space, or just like, free space in my brain to be able to focus on things that are important to me. That does include, with being off social media, I have changed the way that I consume news. It is very intentional, it's very strategic. I don't set a timer, but it's time-based, like I'm not just looking at it for hours.
No one needs 24/7 news consumption. And don't get me wrong, I am incredibly aware and up to date on things that are happening. I wish I wasn't, but that's not how I function. I'm not putting my head in the sand. I definitely know what's going on, but I'm not consuming it constantly, which makes a big difference.
And to also be very clear, my screen time right now is so high. It is way up, but it's because the things that I'm doing locally require the use of my phone. Which is fine. That's a different kind of screen time, right? Screen time where you're spending hours scrolling doing nothing is very different than screen time where you're interacting with groups that you're helping or colleagues and what have you.
That's a very different kind of screen time, and I will say with my screen time being up and the work that I'm doing right now, it is incredibly emotionally draining and exhausting. But it's a different feeling of exhaustion. It's that tired you feel when you know that you've put your all into something, you're contributing positively, and you're not just throwing crap out into the void.
And that's what I was feeling like while on social media. I felt like nothing mattered or was making any sort of impact or difference. Let me be clear. This is not “give Tara a pat on the back” or anything like that. Other than being a woman, I am a cishet white woman, and at the moment I'm not being targeted.
We all know that can change in an instant, but other than being a woman, I am trying to use my privilege to make that direct impact on people. For me, when I was posting on social media, it felt very performative, and we do not need another white woman posting performative crap online. Now, did I post with the intention of being performative?
No. It just felt like that. I was like, yeah, I can share things. I can share what's going on and give people updates as I see them for things that are important to me, but it just, it didn't feel like I was moving the needle in any way, shape, or form. So the decision I made was to get off social media.
It just isn't the best use of my time right now. I am not here to tell you whether or not you should be using social media for your business or not. I know editors who absolutely thrive on social media. I know editors who absolutely thrive without social media, you do not have to use social media to have a successful business.
So all I can recommend is that—I know, I sound like such a broken record—but you have to choose what's best for you and create and hold boundaries for yourself. Those boundaries have to be rooted in what works best for you, not what people deem you should be doing online. I don't mean not using your voice, I don't mean ignoring things that are happening. I do mean keeping your mental health and your safety a priority.
So when it comes to your use of social media, here are those reflection questions I mentioned before. These might come in handy now. They might not be applicable now, but they might be in the future. Keep 'em in your back pocket because you never know when your relationship with social media might change.
The first one's pretty self-explanatory. What platforms are you going to use? I probably should have mentioned this in the beginning, but when I say social media, for me, Instagram is my main platform, and then I disseminate what I post there, like on my feed, to other platforms. But the engagement I do on the other platforms is very minimal.
But you need to decide what platforms you're going to use and then what type of content are you going to post or not post. For example, except for a couple of exceptions, I do not post my kids on social media. Nor does my husband. We made that decision years before we had kids, and we have stuck to it.
And I am very grateful that we did because my Instagram in particular is a public account. And the last thing I need is some creepers up in there looking at my kids' photos. That just, that's a whole 'nother topic about posting your kids on the internet. So we'll stay focused.
The next question is, are you posting any personal content or is it just business-related content? This is personal and particular to your situation. Some people have personal accounts and then separate business accounts. Some combine them. I know some editors are authors, so they'll have an author account and an editor account and a personal account. I'm lazy and I just have one account only because I don't wanna manage more. Except I have a separate Instagram for the podcast, and I honestly regret doing that only because it's just yet another flipping account that I have to post to. And it's annoying. I do it, but I really wish I would've just kept it to one. But you might feel very differently. You might post a lot more personal content that you don't want to put on a business page.
That's fine. Just make those boundaries for yourself ahead of time and stick to 'em. Easy. So easy, she says sarcastically.
All right. Moving on. Will you post about causes or movements or social justice initiatives that you support? And if you do, what's your approach? Are you posting them on personal pages, business pages? How often are you going to post? Are you posting about things that are, let's say applicable to editing or publishing books or something like? If you're in a certain niche that has news happening or things going on, are you going to stick to that? Are you gonna stick to more world/global things? There's so many different options. But picking an approach ahead of time again will be great, and you can always change it or adjust it, right?
Another question: How often are you going to post? How often are you going to engage and how are you going to engage? What are your time boundaries? Are you going to check social media or post on social media only at certain times of the day or certain days?
Will you only be on social media for a certain length of time? I don't know, you give yourself ten minutes to check your Instagram in the morning. Or something I mentioned before, I use the free version of the Opal app. That locks me out of my social media accounts during certain times of the day.
You can have it block any apps you want. So when I say social media, I also have YouTube put on there because I've gotten in the habit of scrolling YouTube and sometimes that's not where I wanna be hanging out. The Opal app is great. It helped break my addiction, like I said, a while back. It's not super applicable right now 'cause I'm not on the apps at all, but I highly recommend it if you're really deep in social media or any app addiction and you need help breaking it.
What types of accounts will you follow? What types of accounts will you interact with, and do you have breaks scheduled? We all need breaks, and break is defined by you. Is it a day? Is it a week, two weeks, months, whatever.
I know social media can be the only community some people have, and that's super important to have and cultivate. And because two things can be true at the same time, you still need to take breaks. You would need to take breaks in any kind of community just because we're human and we need breaks. So please keep that in mind. It doesn't have to be lengthy breaks, it doesn't have to be big, sweeping things. Just a little break every now and then will serve you well.
Now I'm going to assume if you're listening to this episode, you're most likely a business owner, most likely have an editing business. And you might be going, wow, great, Tara. But I'm a new editor. I've been told social media is how I should market my business, or I've been editing for a long time and social media has been a big part of my business and that's how I get clients. Great! If social media is working for you, amazing, like, super happy for you.
You can still keep in mind that you need to use it intentionally and you still need to take breaks because it could change. And also, I'm sure you've heard this before, but building a business on a platform you don't own is not good business strategy. And this is coming from someone who unintentionally built the majority of the Freelance Editors Club off Instagram. And Instagram is still one of the main ways people find me.
Pot calling kettle black here. I've done it. I built it off of Instagram just because that's where I like to hang out and that's where I engaged with people. And then that's how they became FEC members. But these changing and mysterious algorithms, and these tech bro, and censorship, and platforms going down—most of that is not in our control.
What we can control is our website and our email list, and even that I know isn't a hundred percent, and who knows if it'll change, but it is far better and safer than social media. Social media changes way too much for us to build a business on it. It can be a stream. It can be one of the ways we use to market our business, but it should not be the only way.
Take it from someone who did that and I shouldn't have. That is why now I've been focusing on my website. I've got some updates happening with that soon. That's why I have the podcast, which I'm really digging deep into now, and it's why I have my newsletter because those are the things that I can control.
And I don't, and I never will, have a concrete answer on how you should use social media in your business. But I would love to invite you to follow along with me in real time and see how I navigate and experience social media usage and what it looks like in the future. Because I don't know what it's gonna look like for me. I really don't. At the moment, I just don't wanna be on it at all. I just don't.
But that could change. Who knows? And it could change for you too. What I do know is that my usage is going to be very minimal and extremely intentional, and I'm going to run an experiment starting today, which is October 1st, and I'm gonna give you all an update on October 29th. And what I have planned right now—and you can set these parameters for yourself, whatever that may be if you wanna join me in this challenge—is that I am only going to post podcast episode announcements and things related to the Freelance Editors Club on social media. And those are gonna be like on Instagram, they're gonna be feed posts. And I'm not gonna do any Stories on Instagram other than sharing those feed posts and sharing if people shared my posts and Stories.
Hopefully that made sense. I've also thought about using my newsletter as a repository for all the things that I normally share on social media. Because it's funny, I'll sit here and be like, oh, I wanna post that to social media. And then I think, nope, Tara, you're not on there right now.
And then I think, but why do you wanna post that on there? What's the reason? Is it just because I think I need to post something on social media? Is it 'cause I actually wanna share something? It's really made me think a lot more deeply about things. And maybe it's gonna be an experiment where I put all those things in a newsletter. Maybe it's just a draft and then I look at it and be like, wow, Tara, yeah, nobody cares. Or I keep it in the newsletter and ask you if you care or if you would've enjoyed that on social media. I don't know.
This could be a total fail, but you know what? It's an experiment and we're not gonna know until we try. So think about some things you can experiment with on your own. If you have a newsletter, maybe you think about that. Or how you're going to post if you're going to post. Facebook in particular. Oh, I despise Facebook with a fiery passion. But a lot of the local work that I do has Facebook groups and that's how we communicate and post updates and stuff.
So I will have to use Facebook for that, but I'm certainly not gonna be scrolling the feed, which I never really do anyways. When you open an app, that's the first thing that pops up, unfortunately. I really wish you could make it so that groups showed up first, but why would we do that? Because we want people to get sucked into the feed.
Anyways. But I'll still be using it intentionally, but I'm not gonna be doing anything else. I'm also going to be talking to people who have either significantly reduced or altered or gotten rid of their social media altogether. Wink, wink. Stay tuned here for that.
And I'm gonna share everything I learned with you here on the podcast and in my newsletter because I think there's gonna be some things that are gonna be light bulb moments. There are gonna be some surprises, and I do wanna share those with you because I hope that they help you with your relationship and journey with social media.
And because I've been in this whole mindset or thinking about social media so much, we're also gonna be focusing on it inside the Freelance Editors Club in October. I recently discovered the podcast called Off the Grid by Amelia Hruby. I really wish I could remember where I found it so I could give a shout-out, but I unfortunately don't.
But it's a podcast dedicated to helping business owners run their business without social media. Can we talk about the universe serving up something in exactly the right moment? Amelia is an author and so she talks about how she promotes her books without using social media. And her latest book just released, and it's called Your Attention Is Sacred Except on Social Media.
And that is gonna be our FEC book club pick for October as well. So I am so excited to read the book. I have been bingeing the podcast. I signed up for her toolkit. I'll put that in the show notes. It’s amazing. If you wanna do one thing, though, from the podcast, I will highly recommend listening to the episode with Cody Cook-Parrott, and I'll link it in the show notes.
They promoted their book after leaving social media. And I was so shocked they deleted—not like just whatever, didn't use it or whatever. They deleted their Instagram account and they had 80,000 followers. If that doesn't make you woo, but they did it. They wrote a book and they promoted it. So highly recommend listening to that.
And if you wanna read the book with us, if you wanna learn more about marketing your business off of social media, check us out in the club at tarawhitaker.com/club. We've got the free 14-day trial. It's gonna be amazing. I know I'm biased, but it is.
So until next time, keep learning, keep growing, and just keep going one step at a time.
Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. If you enjoy The Modern Editor Podcast, I would be so grateful if you left a review over on Apple Podcasts or wherever you consume podcasts. And don't forget, you can head to tarawhitaker.com to connect with me and stay in touch. We'll chat again soon.